I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Randomize
