They should really pass out barf bags in church
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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