I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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