No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
