doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
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