let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
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I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize