well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
