You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
