since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
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Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
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We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize