I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
