that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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