addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
