But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize