ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Randomize
