Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
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