i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize