hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
