my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
