he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
