oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
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