"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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