My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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