It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
