Three words: puerto rican gang bang
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
