Having a random hookup so left but love u
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize