the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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