if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
