you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
