Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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