i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
