he thought i was a dude.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
