he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
