oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
