would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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