once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
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#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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