I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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