another moral hangover. fuck.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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