Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
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She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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