I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
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