I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
