before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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