Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
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