capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
