You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
We're like a lot better than the average bears
life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
