I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
