wat bout pragnant strippers??
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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