Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
