eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
