Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Randomize
