I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
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just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
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American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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