he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
