White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
