i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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