Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
