hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Randomize
