i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
