I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
