Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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