Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
