So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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