weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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