another moral hangover. fuck.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
