His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
