your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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